There is an ancient Chinese principle for marriage talking about the family match, which is translated in Chinese as “门当户对.”
(men dang hu dui) It represented the basic of the arranged marriage in ancient Chinese history. However, as the time flowed, during the May Forth Movement, more and more youth are calling for free love. So there is a debate for thousands of years, that is, do wee need a "perfect match family" in marriage?
As far as I am concerned, it depends sometimes and need to be considered into different situations.
To start with, we need to go back to the ancient history thousands years ago. As Gardner said, the thing to make boy and girl together is not chemistry or hormone, it was the local matchmaker. This matchmaker knew that "marriage wasn't principally for the purpose of bringing these two individuals together–it was an alliance between their two families." That means, the family made the decision for their child, but for the boy and girl, they know none about each other until the marriage day. (Gardner, 2011, p.1) It sounds ridiculous but really happened. Yes, there might be some couples who got happiness at the end. But there are still some people who are suffering within the arranged marriage. A good case in point is that "the Butterfly Lovers," a story is always be compared with Romeo and Juliet. A couple of youth fell in love in the school, but the girl's family wants her to marry a rich family. At last, the boy died with depressing and on the way for the girl's marriage ceremony, she just stopped by the tomb, fly away as butterflies with the boy. This is a tragedy by the pressure of family and society. Actually, most of the love stories talking about passion is beginning with the free love but ending with separating, as the love between Jia Baoyu and Lin Daiyu in "Dream of the Red Chamber." Only a few of them got the happy ending within the arranged marriage.
When the time went through the late Qing Dynasty, the reforms of new thinking; the advanced technology and the western thoughts came into China and some of the people started to wake up. As the progress of May Forth Movement, the advanced youth author began to express their free love spirits in their articles. Like what we did in class, "The Night a Tiger was Captured" told a story about the love tragedy between daughter of a rich hunter and a "homeless" man. It is true that boys and girls are free to persue their love, but when it comes to the issue of choosing love or bread, the freedom seems to be limited. Once I read the only short novel about love from Lu Xun, I was such impressed by the ending. The story's name is "Grieves for the dead"(Shang shi). The male character, Juansheng fell in love with Zijun when he gave her lessons about new thinking. They eloped together and lived in the Jizhao Alley, however, the love only lasts for one year. Juansheng found that they still have differences in spirit and told her to break up. In the end, Zijun died in the depressing. Zijun is brave, but her also paid for her brave. The boy loves her when she is cared by her family, like a new born baby to see the outside world. But when she came out from family, she have to grow up, turns to be the women as the others in the alley, care about money, gossip. When the love is surrounded by the detailed life, the passion run away and the worst is that she cannot be able to work, they cannot even enjoy the small chicken. So in this case, the match should be cared about. When a couple do not have a matched thought, the passion just can be hold for a little while. Infer that in the "The Night a Tiger was Captured," Liangu just eloped with Dasha, but what can they do next? Liangu came from a rich hunter family, she never thought about what to eat tomorrow; the winter is cold or not; there will be no house. Dasha cannot provide anything Liangu has. So how can they keep in love? And Dasha could have a chance to get a job, but he refused. It seems ridiculous. If you cannot provide a basic life instrument for your wife, how can you build a family and even bear a baby? Yes, when talking about money, the love is not pure any more. But when there is no money and food, how can people talk about love? It's not their own faults, but the period's. The wars, opiums, diseases separated everything.
In modern times, the arranged marriage also occurred somewhere. Sometimes it could be the marriage bridge for two companies, or just as arranged from family. But for today, more and more Chinese people care about the family background in marriage. Every girl may dream about one day the fairy tale Cinderella could happened in her own life. It is interesting to point out that Cinderella is not born as a maidservant, she was a upper class. For my own, I also agree with that basically the couple do need to have the same personal value, that could also be considered as a matched marriage.
For the life, the argument might be a little bit realism. But the time is under changing, the values also changed a lot, so as traditions. The sleeping beauty woke up by the kiss of the prince, and they lived happy ever after. But after 100 year, how can they get along well with each other? The author never told us. The fairy tale is only a story. In conclusion, the arranged marriage might not be the right way to build a family, but we do need matching to some extent for the long term consideration.
References,
Gardner,D.K.(2011), Arranged Marriage in China: Matchmaker Li vs. Match.com, China Musings. Com, retrieved from
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